We often consider marriage as a fresh beginning and an association between 2 families. Especially in India people consider marriage very sacred. Bringing a daughter in law to a family is like bringing a daughter. The new girl is received with lots of love and compassion at the new house. The best part is, she is welcomed to be a part of the beautiful big family. This is the rosy side of the picture but often married girls have this question in mind "Is a daughter in law really a daughter". Does she get the same treatment and independence?
The answers are NO. Not very often.Daughter-in- laws is not flesh and blood relation to a family. in short the daughter is your daughter because you wanted to have a child, this is the reason they are extremely close to their parents. But for a daughter in law, the relationship is established due to a marriage and association with another family.
Post marriage every daughter in law enters the new home and relationship with lots of hope. A wise mother in law can easily find a way to make the daughter in law comfortable with the new family. It is very obvious for the young girl to expect little compassion, love, and a supportive family.
Here are some gains if the daughter in law is treated as a daughter.
1. Happy healthy family.
The most common problem in the family usually starts when there is no bond between 2 strong women in the family one is the mother in law and the second lady is daughter in law. The entire harmony of the family is spoilt. If there are frequent fights or if they are not in talking terms then the entire happiness of the family is at stake. If a daughter in law is treated well and with respect, the family will eventually see happiness in long run.
2. No tug of war for son’s ownership
When a son gets a wife, it is must for the mother to respect his choice and support their marriage. The men of the family will also be troubled if there is an ongoing rivalry between a daughter in law and his mother. The fights basically happen due to lack of attention, possessiveness etc. This will make the daughter in law often miserable. If the son stands up for his wife, this will be highly upsetting for his mother. At the end, the son with be suffering due to the never-ending tug of war.
3. Communication and Transparency
Whatever may be the relationship, the relationship must be transparent. It should be easy for the family members to communicate with each other without having the fear of being judged. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. A wise mother in law will be always communicable to the daughter in law. It is must for her to be soft and firm at the same time. Everything should be transparent to the daughter in law as she is also part of the new family, it is her family also. This will make her comfortable.
4. Make a Bridge of Generation Gap
There is always a generation gap between mom in law and daughter in law but when both are treated as mother and daughter some sort of gap is minimized due to acceptability of thought and ideas between them. This makes their relationship more stronger and full of happiness.
5. Be respectful
There will always a respect between each other. Both start to understand each other and gives equal value to their opinion. Questions never becomes botheration to them it act as the poll of knowledge.
i completely agree with above thoughts….if a daughter in law is treated as daughter most of issues are solved in family…there is postive approach in all aspects and a healthy growth of family…. well,to be true…i always have this thought why i am not considered equally important like my husband…it breaks my confidence and hurts me badly……but,then i just calm myself by saying it is not people who has to be changed but there thoughts which needs to be changed
i really appreciate that you shared your thoughts with us, it is our prime motive to share and build self consiousness among the womens like us.
Mom in law please treated ur daughter in law as the same way as u think ur daughter will treat in her laws house..
Very well written Priyanka
Highly commendable valid points every MIL should take in consideration while getting home a DIL. Welcome to the world of writing
This is a very subjective topic, everyone has their personal experience
Such a lovely piece of writing. Loved reading it and nicely done 🙂
Well expressed. But there is a fine line that people end up crossing and the relationship always stays superficial
Very well said, there needs to be positive advancement on both sides to have a healthy and happy relationship in the family.
Yeah this is one topic which can be talked in so many ways ..yeah but I feel lucky to be treated as daughter and have so much respect for this treatment.
Yes!! Some of the mothers-in-law treat their daughter in law the same they treat her real daughter.
We can only hope that a motger in law would treat her DIL with equal respect as she wants for her own daughter. But I think our generation can make this change as we become MIL one day ?
Such a thoughtful post on a very important topic. I hope all relationship works well and there is peace and love in families.
That’s a very thoughtful post.. Wish all mother in law treat there daughter in laws as their daughters..
I really loved the second point… I do see relationships improving these days
Ur right and I hope our generation is better in this sphere
I completely agree that the harmony of a family lies in the relationship between a MIL and DIL. This is a very thoughtful and a must read post…
It is easier said than done. For a lady of house it is really difficult to share her house and son with a new person. But it is a fact that If she shows love and respect for the daughter in law, it will be beneficial for her in the long run. Positive bonding will result in caring and sharing in difficult times, and mom in law will benefit from the respect that daughter in law will have for her when she becomes very old and weak.
I have seen first three points you shared going wrong with myself, friends and family. Transparency is crucial for all the relationships
I dont know why there is such huge gap when it comes to ‘in-law’ relations. Why can t we treat the in-laws as a human being like in the same manner we have people as friends? The animosity associated with this terms is huge which needs quite a dollop of positivity in it.
Sibling relationship is always strong and healthy. Relationships need respect, communication and transparency. Then things fall in place and go on smoothly. Hope our generation rises above and realizes this.
I read this and think in spite of different cultures all human problems are so similar. Our egos can stand in the way of happiness for all involved. You are a talented writer. Keep up the great posts?
It’s a relationship which is very dicey and a road to that is slippery. However, if you do find the Balance, your life is sorted.
Cheers, here from baidu, i enjoyng this, i will come back again.
Morning, here from google, i enjoyng this, I come back again.
Really loved it post,hope every MIL tread their daughter in law as her own daughter
This is true but at the same time, it is not only mother in law who make the bridge for commutation or held responsible but it is applicable for all family members. Everyone should understand this reality and make atmosphere to ease life for daughter in law.
Most importantly, husband should try to work here as he know about all family members and can identify who would be best who can help and support new family member in understanding other family members. He, himself, also try to make situation comfortable for his wife.
It really depends upon our thought process. Feelings should be mutual…..if we expect that daughter in law should be treated a s daughter than we should also have the same amount of love and respect that we’ve for our parents.
Woe!! What a nice topic that you have shared… Really agree with you…. Keep it up
Stay as you are to your daughter or to your mother in law as your own. Things will fall in place. Never be overbearing or never expect too much . Good write up!