When 2 parents meet the first thing after greeting each other all they talk about is Comparing the Child!. The comparison is the most common way to judge the performance of the child. It generally starts with comparing their weight, height, marks and what not. you use the same information to boost your child by saying see Tanu aunt’s daughter has scored 95% but this is the worst way to encourage your child. Stop Comparing Your Child!
A parent should understand the fact that each child is different, one can be artistic the other can be excellent at singing. Basically, a fish cannot fly and the bird cannot swim.Everyone has their own set of talents which should be acknowledged and motivated by the parents.
Stop comparing your child, it has a very bad effect on them when they grow up. you may consider comparison as a way to instigate the competition in the child, you may consider it as driving force to increase the performance but it doesn’t work that way. Comparison is the worst thing, which a parent can do to their child.
Here are some negative effects of comparison.So, Stop Comparing Your Child!
1. Building Up Stress
When you compare your child to other kid, your child feels burdened and you are indirectly pressurizing the child. This can have an adverse effect on the kids overall performance and they might be stressed.
2. Lower Self Confidence
When your child is being compared to others, your child believes that they are lower than others and others are always the best. They conclude themselves as incapable of doing anything since they cannot meet the expectation of their parents. The comparison can badly damage the self- esteem and confidence level of growing child.
3. Runs Away From Taking Responsibility
If you are consistently taunting your kids by comparing them with others, they will run away from responsibility. Because at the end of the day they are going to be insulted for their act. They will also avoid public interaction as they consider themselves as incapable and worthless.
4. Unrecognized Talent
your child may be an excellent painter but you want them to be an athlete because some other child is an excellent athlete.They will suppress their talents because they understand that it is never going to be appreciated. The painting talent will go totally unrecognized.
5. Avoiding Interaction
The child will clearly distance you from their parents since there is a lot of negativity build up by the parents. It is very clear to them that they are not going to get any appreciation from you and you will hurt them. The kids get usually insecure and avoid interaction with the parents.Eventually, it can lead to developmental issues. Some kids also have behavioral issues and aggressive nature.
Positive Approach to nurture the child
1.Create a benchmark
Appreciate each and every effort of the child. Let the child be his own competitor. This will increases the confidence.
2. Support them during the weak time
Always support and encourage your kids when they need help and guidance.
3. Praise their performance
Even if your child has scored the 3rd position and not 1st, praise their
efforts and hard work.
Every child has their own plus points and its high time for parents to stop comparing them to other children. It demoralise them so much.
I really wish that our parents had gone through articles like yours. At least the new generation is getting more aware about these things now
Every point mentioned by you is so true we should never ever compare a child as it hampers the growth badly.Positive approach towards your child will take any parent a long way. I am happy to have read this post.
I truly loved reading this post ? such an awareness you are soreading. We shouldn’t b comparing children at all , it may affect badly
We might never realize but kids get really heart when we do such comparisons. It hurts their self esteem and confidence very badly. Thanks you for insightful article. Every parent must read it.
What a co incidence. I have drafted a similar post like this. My parents would always compare with other ids for my studies and other stuff. it had influenced a lot on me. i could relate so much to this post
Very informative post. This is so inspiring for parents. Great and useful tips.
Every points you have mentioned here are so true.. I have witnessed same situation at my neighbor’s house… Very well written..
Very well written points. The child should be compared to only him/herself. This provides encouragement to do better than last time
Such an incredible post and I appreciate for picking such a topic. Parents barely realize how detrimental this can be for their child’s growth.
I never understand that why parent compares their child to anyone. This lead to the negativity and inferior feeling. We should try to make them better but comparing is just not the solution.
Healthy competition is very good. Some degree of comparison and role modelling is good but you should know where to draw the line 🙂
Very well written I have seen many parents doing these similar mistakes. Its so wrong.
So true….wen u start comparing ur kid with other kids…the child will loose his or her ability to think… Directly or indirectly the child will start to imitate others…
This is so true. Reminds me of our Indian stereotypes like “Sharma ji ka beta”. 🙂 On a serious note though, every child has her own talents that need to be identified by parents. Totally agree with you on every point!
I so much agree, comparison just creates a sense of inferiority and sometimes extreme may lead to negative Psychological disorders in kids.
I’m so with you on this. Comparing your kids is the worst thing to do. I’m so glad you spoke out about this really important topic.
I agree when we compare out kids in front of others the feel very sad and that’s why they become what they have been told
Very well written post your every points are true.I really hate compare of kids . We must understand that every child can not be the same because every child has some specialty that’s why every child is special .
Absolutely agree with your blog post!! Well written 🙂
Truly agree to a your well written points in this post. Thanks for this article, it’s really very helpful for me.
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