
In a country like India, people here are loaded with surnames which they also consider as a status symbol and priority. Surnames are extremely important for almost everything starting from school admission to filling a bank form. Surnames are mandatory. But, post marriage everything changes, a girl gets a new name, family, and surname. If the surname is the priority of every family then why should the girl lose her surname for another priority? People and society cannot impose a girl and her little one to follow the patriarchy. Many parents feel that their child should get only his fathers surname as it is an ego factor for them.
This is where the tradition of the wife taking her husband’s surname after the marriage has taken . However modern may be the men , they almost impose the new person to attach their surnames along with her names post marriage. It is an untold rule. We always say Surname is the priority of every family.Then why should the girl lose her surname for another priority?
If you are a one who fights for their own rights then here are 3 paths that you can consider when it comes to changing your surname post marriage.
1. Embrace your given surname.
The most easier option is to keep and embrace the given name. You can simple abid the law of social and keep the surname gifted to you during your birth. The wedding is a union for 2 family and people, it has nothing to do with names. You can always carry your birth surname and avoid paper changes at various government and local places.
Another benefit of keeping your surname is, you have created a brand value of yourself. Assume, if you are a famous writer or poet people will obviously know with your birth surname, marriage is just an additional feather on the cape.
2. Add in your spouse name
The traditional name game scenario is to add family surname post- wedding. The surname is the priority of every family.Then why should the girl lose her surname for another priority?But, as a newlywed wife you are entitled to take your husband’s last name.In short, you are married to your husband and not his family. You can also do it out of love towards your spouse, you can change the important papers with your new surname.
3. Include your husband’s family name legally but also maintain your maiden surname professionally
Marriage should be considered as an association of two hearts and family. a girl post marriage must be given all rights to choose her preference regarding the surname.She has all rights to keep her maiden surname. The best possible option will be to get associated with the spouse family surname legally and keep continuing with your maiden surname professionally. This is the sure shot method to address both the families and to keep both the family happy. Having dual names does not mean having dual identities, you can always communicate to your circle of friends and colleagues.
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Great thoughts Priyanka… Well it’s the girl who can only do this without any complaints, girls are really strong to accept all this changes.
This is an awesome thought provoking article. Personally though I happily took on my husband’s family name because I didn’t find it insulting. I love my parents family and the name too. But it is my personal choice I guess. So I chose
Well said, dear. Same my parents gave me my first name that will be my identity forever but I added my husband’s name happily. 🙂
this topicis highly debatable. I kept my paternal name always and I love it. I wont change it ever and thanks to adhar card scheme not its permanent no one can even question it lols.
Totally true…I still neva understand y few force to change or add surname of husband….my husband neva did…n I too neva felt to change… My surname is sign of my existence….. Though my husband is my identity
Even I do not understand this connection. I did not go for surname change after wedding. Luckily in laws side no body forced me as well.
This is a very debatable topic. I wanted to take my husband’s family name but didn’t coz of a lot of paperwork and less time to do it.
wow.. this is a great article but i dont know what to comment because it was a highly debatable topics.. so i choose to be a reader only.. can? =)
This is so informative! From the very beginning, it caught my attention already. Those are such useful and professional tips.
While I use my maiden name, it was not an issue but more convenience of changing so many papers and it didn’t bother any of us or our families.
This is good argumentative topic ..it’s depends on how girl make choice …yeah I agree surname is what everyone carry with pride
I’ve loved this topic and have even debated quite a lot with people. The best part is I have retained my surname till now (7years of marriage) and my inlaws family and husband have supported that as my now and forever identity.
Very wel written post. Loved reading such articles on women. Even i never understand the reason behind changing girl’s surname. Still Your tips are just amazing and useful. Thanks for sharing.
we have no such rule – to take the husband’s name ! I still take my Maiden name as my name 😛 and My husband didn’t mind it at all – because both of us share the same last name 😛
Very informative and thought provoking post. Beautifully expressed thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
This is such a sensitive issue you’ve touched upon. I agree women should be given the right to choose which surname she wishes to keep.
It’s a lovely topic. Even I don’t believe in changing the surname after marriage
Gender equality in India is not that easy. It will take long time. But I think this topic can wait before we have so many other fronts left to conquer first.
This is so valid. I have done the same. I loved your thoughts and logic behind them
I couldn’t thank you enough for writing on this subject. I have been struggling to make these things understand to people around me. I feel its imperative that the girl doesn’t lose her identity even after marriage. Lovely write up dear.
Such a informative post, loved all your thoughts and very useful tips 🙂
Honestly, i dont think it is patriarchal or anything and i feel it is fine to have your surname changed. Im a sindhi, and e have to change our first names as well and that is quite a big jolt on the identity and all the formal paperwork has to be redone.
Its a highly Debatable topic though, its been 6 years of my marriage still i keep my identity intact in my name!!!
I am of the opinion that no human should be forced to take up a surname just because you are born in a family. Well surnames have a deeper socio-economic importance also. Women changing thr surnames is such a stupid thing. I am a live example coz I have done it and now I feel why I gave my maiden name. Thank God PM has borught some fresh perspecttive on this.
That is a lovely thought. I havent changed mine in records but use my husband’s. It was my own decision.
Such a lovely write up over women freedom… I clearly don’t believe in surname changing rule after marriage..
Great thoughts and such a wonderful post. wow